Picture of the Day: Hail in the Pantheon

All days are nights to see till I see thee

I apologize that this post is so long overdue. Hopefully some of you will return to my blog on some nostalgic whim and actually read this. The last paragraph is especially meaningful to me. Living in Rome was a truly life altering experience. I intend to express my feelings about the city and sum up my experience in this final post. I hope you all enjoyed living vicariously through me!

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I miss slipping on paving blocks slickened by the moisture from a fresh rainfall. I miss the bustling traffic and the shouts and the horns. I miss the filth left over from the daily vegetable market. I miss the ancient buildings and the outdated appliances and the drafty single pane windows. I miss my enormous front door and the drunken Italians hooking up in front of it at three in the morning. I miss the tiny cars and scooters parked on every fucking sidewalk, street, ally, and path imaginable. I miss the crowded busses and dirty subway. I miss the thieves and gypsies constantly trying to take your money.

I miss Rome.

Rome is just a city, like any other, yet there something about it that is unlike any other place on earth. It was the way I could listen to one thousand conversations happening all around me, yet hear nothing. How I could be surrounded by friends, yet still be alone. How I knew exactly where to go and how to get there, but not know where it was.

While abroad, I developed a love/hate relationship with Rome, and I am glad I did. It wouldn’t have been the same if my experience was all positive because I think that the negative experiences made me appreciate the positive ones more. I must admit, I have never felt this way about a place before. I find myself longing to go back, yet I know that even if I do it will never be the same. I imagine it to be like returning to a childhood home to find it exactly the same as you remember; only something is missing. Some sort of life, some connection that is lacking.

I now understand why they call it the “Eternal City”. You see, time seemed to stop for me in Rome, and I believe that was only made possible by living there. You cannot become part of a city when you visit it. As in any real relationship, there is an element of both love and hate involved. When one visits, they only experience infatuation, lust, and the superficial side of love. But by living in Rome you learn to accept the city for what it is and embrace its flaws, deepening your connection. That, in my opinion, is love.

I regret how only after our time together is up, do I realize how eloquently this city spoke to me. In the words of Kahlil Gibran, “Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.” I feel like I have buried a loved one. I look back on all of the memories of that person and though I realize I will always have them, I also realize that they are just that, memories, and they will never again be anything more. It is something that I have come to terms with. All things, both good and bad, must eventually come to an end; and I now recognize that, though sometimes tormenting, the pain experienced in parting is critical in the forging of one’s soul.

-BJC